Ok first let me start off yes i do tip and i find myself tipping less and less, and yes even at times the dreaded no tip. Yes I will no tip you. The way I see it is your already getting paid and before all you Hater Waiters start on me, yes i know you depend on the tips to make up for getting less then minimum wage. Which frankly it was your choice to take a job that pay less than a living wage, but you want to give me shitty service expect a shitty tip. If i get no service you get no tip simple as that. I am paying you for your time to help me enjoy a meal without having to be interrupted. I've have only had one waitress ever take so personally she felt she had to follow outside to my car and say, ';What the **** thanks for the no tip!'; To which i replied, ';I don't zero service.'; Let me say I am glade she stood up for herself. Now had she stopped me in the parking lot and said excuse me is there a reason i didn't get a tip i wouldn't had to tell the manager that I did not appreciate her following out to my car to curse me out. I told him that she was my waitress but I didn't get any service from her. I informed the manager that we did how ever tip two others on the wait staff and the hostess. The manager called over a waitress that I pointed out and asked her about it. and she said, ';Dude, me and Adam have been covering her tables all after noon but shes been sharing tips so I don't care.'; So the Manager fired the waitress on the spot. I felt bad yes but the she wasn't doing her job that had nothing to do with more than me not tipping her.
So I know that I am not a considerate guy but I am courteous. So I am from a small town and when I went to the barber's it was one guy that owned the place. So I never learned to tip em, or when the right time to tip is. My own lessons in tipping is from my work experience where I have received tips myself including waiting tables. Which as a matter of fact I received a $100, yes a bill for a ticket whose total was $15.73. He went to pay i started clearing the table and was a note covering a single bill with a glass on top of it. The note said thank your for the attention. When I noticed it was a Franklin I told my cousin who owns the restaurant, ';I think he made a mistake.'; I ran to him on his way to his car and told him that sir you made a mistake. Then he told me, ';No mistake your work ethic is superb and more people needed to improve on that trait. Your not the first big tip I've given and I've given bigger than that, but not once has anyone follow me to my car.
So that was 12 years ago when I was 17. I really took what he said personally, mainly because in this age where mastering a craft has been lost. It was only one word that struck something within, trait. I now had a trait. Now I find myself in a larger city and I went into a shop so i can get a trim. The lady cuts my hair but its not what I wanted i told he below the ear she went above, I told her I like the length on top don't touch it just clean it up. She cut inches off my hair my hair was so short. It looked ok, so ok I go to pay for it and I am asked to tip. I refused and walked out. I'm not stupid I know I can't go back there and I won't, and my quest to find someone I like continues.
I now how it works the girl pays for her chair so basically she's renting out the places and I'm employing her. She didn't come to me I had to go to her. Which had she came to me I would have tipped something at minimum I mean come on she came to me. I didn't get the hair cut I wanted but I did get a hair cut that I was ok with just had to wait a little longer to get the style I'm going for and I'll try again. If I hated it I would have said you know what just take it all off I'll start over which I have done twice after my barber died and I had to find a new one, and after they took it all off no guard I didn't pay and twice I had the cops called on me and twice they said we don't handle these kinds of situations. However tipping at a barber shop or Solon when do I tip regardless of it being a solo barber or someone that pays for a chair in a shop. Which I don't know to me if you own and you do all the cuts your self then you get all the profits because you are your only employee, so I don not see the reason to tip in that situation. As far as a solon goes my views are I came to you and i didn't get what I wanted, if I did then you would be my regular. So there you go your getting my business, because if I have to I will wait for the person I want. So i need help should I tip and why am I tipping them. I need evidence if you believe I should.
Thank you for your time.Do I really need to tip?
Bad luck. We don't tip that much here in NZDo I really need to tip?
You really felt the need to type up four big paragraphs justifying your stinginess? You must really be insecure with yourself.
Duuuuude, was all that really necessary?
Yes, you need to tip. It's one thing to make a statement about bad service, and another thing altogether to force your waitress to pay a percentage of your meal because she was bad. She still has to pay taxes on your meal whether you pay or not. You don't have to give her extra money on top of that if she's horrible, but you're stealing from her if you make her pay for part of your meal, too.
So let's say you had a $20 tab. If she has to claim 8% on each check, and then pay taxes on that supposed income, perhaps she'd only pay $0.50 total, but it's the principle. No decent person forces the waitstaff to help pay for their meal.
Get it?
Wow! Just skimmed your question cause I really can't justify wasting too much of my life on Yahoo.
Re: tipping, it's common courtesy to tip at least 10-15%. For exceptional service, I've gone as high as 35. Excluding counter service, I've never not tipped no matter how bad the service. I figure it might not be entirely the server's fault. I mean the kitchen might have messed up or it could just be insanely busy and everyone's entitled to have a bad day.
Here's the thing... Let me first say, I am a server. I work in California, and here we make minimum wage, plus all of our tips. We are taxed on our tips which is, approximately, 10% of cash checks, and the actual amount of credit card tips
I try very hard to please my tables, and I really appreciate courtesy. For example: If you want a refill on your soda, and some more butter for your bread, please ask for them at the same time. This allows me to meet your needs, and my other tables'. I understand that you may have forgotten the first time, but maybe wait a few minutes for me to attend to my other guests as well. With courtesy like this, you will get good service and, in turn, you will feel happy to leave a good tip. We want to please you! If you get a server who really doesn't care, just give him/her what she deserves (10%).
But, if you get good service, please consider the amount of the check and tip by percentage. That system is in place for a reason, which is the amount of money you spend on food correlates with the amount of work I have to do, which I don't mind, in fact I prefer! Just keep in mind that the more you need, the harder it is to please all of my guests, and nobody wants that, right?!
Also, you are a dick.
I have done the no tip thing, for the most part I actually tip very well (here they do not pay tax on every table). I had one waitress that was so rude and actually said to me when I ordered garlic bread ';it isn't premade so the cook will actually have to like it make it for you, so do you really want it?'; Even when I told her yes I wanted it I still never got it and at the end of the meal when it was on my bill I pointed it out and she said ';well if you want it so bad I guess the cook could make it now';. I do not however, ever tip my mailman
First off, about 98% of your question is pointless. If you don't tip at all, there should be a damn good reason for it. I go out to eat a lot and very rarely have a problem with the waitstaff...Reading your question makes me think that your expectations may be too high. There have been very very few instances where I have not tipped someone at all.
All in all, YES you really need to tip, unless the service was bad enough to talk to a manager about. (Or you want everyone to think you're a cheap ***)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Should i get cornrows or gel twists. (19 year old black guy)?
I have a short afro and in a month or two i'm going to get either cornrows or gel twists. What i really want are DREADLOCKS, but my hair ain't long enough right now. So i was thinking, should i wait a few months to get gel twist and let them lock into dreadlocks, or should i just get cornrows and let my hair grow more before i start my twists.
I've seen some people start with little twists probably when their hair was about 2-3 inches long, similar to the length needed for cornrows; however, i don't know how easy it would be to mess them up with them being so small since i move around in my sleep. I had cornrows like 5 years ago.and i remember waking up all the time with my do-rag off my head and on the floor next to my bed lol. Not to be rude but, i think both of the styles look great so i don't really care what yaw think looks better...What i'm concerned about is what's best for my future dreads.
Please don't try to dissuade me from dreadlocks. I've thought long and hard about it, and its my personal choice.
Thank you very much in advance.Should i get cornrows or gel twists. (19 year old black guy)?
Get cornrows they are sexy :)Should i get cornrows or gel twists. (19 year old black guy)?
Jerry curl
id wait for dreads
I've seen some people start with little twists probably when their hair was about 2-3 inches long, similar to the length needed for cornrows; however, i don't know how easy it would be to mess them up with them being so small since i move around in my sleep. I had cornrows like 5 years ago.and i remember waking up all the time with my do-rag off my head and on the floor next to my bed lol. Not to be rude but, i think both of the styles look great so i don't really care what yaw think looks better...What i'm concerned about is what's best for my future dreads.
Please don't try to dissuade me from dreadlocks. I've thought long and hard about it, and its my personal choice.
Thank you very much in advance.Should i get cornrows or gel twists. (19 year old black guy)?
Get cornrows they are sexy :)Should i get cornrows or gel twists. (19 year old black guy)?
Jerry curl
id wait for dreads
I've been writing a new book tell me what you think?
read my book so far and tell me what you think and what i should/could add. i will listen to any criticism except for people replying gay.
here's my story also i would like a lot of comments.
Introduction
My life is like a Cinderella story… well without the happily ever after.
My name is Avril I have long chestnut brown hair with black highlights and my eyes well they’re blue like two sapphires shinning in the light. I’m 14 years old and my parents are divorced and sadly I have one horrible older sister.
Well you’re most probably thinking that doesn’t sound so bad, well you’re wrong.
It’s Monday and I woke up from a nice and peaceful sleep dreading to go back to school, but I got up and got dressed into my school uniform and got my bag ready. I headed down the long and narrow staircase and went out the front door.
Heading to the bus stop I wondered how the day will go. Will I have fun for once? Or will it just be a normal day of school. When I got to the bus stop I met my mate Lloyd and we started talking.
“Hi Lloyd, how was your weekend?” I asked him nicely.
He replied back “It was good went to town with my cousin Connor and watched a film, how did your weekend go?”
“It was ok, I didn’t do much though.” I said and then the conversation just stopped.
We waited in the freezing weather nearly turning to icicles but luckily the bus turned up. I paid the gruesome, horrible bus driver his money and then went upstairs. It took about 30 minutes to get to school and now we had arrived in the place I disliked as much as home.
The morning I thought was going to be bad didn’t turn out so bad and I will tell you why….
Because it was Monday my house group had to have there assembly today but it wasn’t the assembly that made me happy it was the surprise in it. After the headmistress Mrs. Goddard read out the school notifications she said to us all. “Children of blue-leaf house I have good news for you all, we have a new student here at Riverview high school
his name is Joey Bennett he’s going to come out and say a few words.”
When he came out onto the hall stage my heart kept racing faster and faster. He looked amazing he had short brown hair with a bit of his fringe highlighted blonde I bet every girl would want to run her hands through his hair… well I know I did and his body was tanned and he had some muscles most of the boys here didn’t even have a six pack let alone muscles.
I know from that first glance that I’d fallen in love.I've been writing a new book tell me what you think?
I'm curious as to what is going to make this any different from the original Cinderella story. Your writing is very tell, don't show, which is a problem, since readers don't want to be reminded they're reading. I'd suggest working on it, try to avoid making statements, such as ';I had long brown hair,'; instead, explain your hair, it works wonders on the keeping the attention of the audience. Also, try to avoid the Mary-Sue route, where you're perfect but have a tragic life, ect. It's very easy to fall down that path when you're working first person, so watch out for it.
Good Luck,I've been writing a new book tell me what you think?
It's good...I think it could have some potential, but try and put some more punctuation in...oh and some more description. I know as someone you know I have been nagging you about this stuff but I also want to tell you to put yourself in the shoes of Avril. Like what does she think of the other characters? Why is her life like a Cinderella story? You didn't really mention why and yes it gets me interested but to be honest, it sounds like it could be a book of another 'Cinderella Story' film. With the name Joey, it makes it even more so. I know you couldn't think of a name, but there are loads of unique names at babynames.com, so try that.
Although I do hate being so negative so I will say something really posistive: your story so far sounds like a Clarice Bean story, and in my opinion they're pretty good. And like I said, you have potential, just remember to be a bit more descriptive and flesh out the character more. Kepp writing and good luck!
~Jade XP
Thats really good.
One thing that you should or might consider adding, is like The new kid could be Supernatural or something like that, like a wizard, or even a Evil guy, like make him be an outside to the rest of the school.
Can you answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
~{STP}~
It sounds like a pretty good beginning. =D However I have a few suggestions:
- Add periods, commas, etc. Basically punctuation in general for some of the sentences.
- ';Well you’re most probably thinking that doesn’t sound so bad, well you’re wrong.'; It sounds kind of awkward when you've used ';well'; before and you used ';well'; again a few words later. Maybe replace it with ';but'; or another word?
- Maybe describe some mental thoughts or something during the conversation with Lloyd. The conversation is pretty brief. Even if you wanted it like that, it seems kind of rushed. Adding additional phrases, sentences, thoughts from Avril, expressions from Lloyd (or both), etc..should help. =D
So that's basically it! Keep it up, please xD I want to know what happens next. =P
I'd liked it :D Though I'm not a huge Cinderella kinda girl but the description at the beginning was kind of regular, try to find some cool ways to incorporate it more into the stories. And ';they're blue like two sapphires shining in the light'; seems a little...over the top to me. I would never describe my eyes so....I don't know the word. But that sounds like a sentence for someone else to describe, or to describe someone else. Most people dumb themselves down and would just say ';a sapphire blue'; and Avril seems like the kind of girl who keeps to herself and doesn't really find anything about herself very amazing. But I don't know so I can't rightly say haha.
Um....remember to keep all the tenses the same....let's see....nope that's just about it. Thanks for answering my question and happy writing :Dacne scar windows web hosting
here's my story also i would like a lot of comments.
Introduction
My life is like a Cinderella story… well without the happily ever after.
My name is Avril I have long chestnut brown hair with black highlights and my eyes well they’re blue like two sapphires shinning in the light. I’m 14 years old and my parents are divorced and sadly I have one horrible older sister.
Well you’re most probably thinking that doesn’t sound so bad, well you’re wrong.
It’s Monday and I woke up from a nice and peaceful sleep dreading to go back to school, but I got up and got dressed into my school uniform and got my bag ready. I headed down the long and narrow staircase and went out the front door.
Heading to the bus stop I wondered how the day will go. Will I have fun for once? Or will it just be a normal day of school. When I got to the bus stop I met my mate Lloyd and we started talking.
“Hi Lloyd, how was your weekend?” I asked him nicely.
He replied back “It was good went to town with my cousin Connor and watched a film, how did your weekend go?”
“It was ok, I didn’t do much though.” I said and then the conversation just stopped.
We waited in the freezing weather nearly turning to icicles but luckily the bus turned up. I paid the gruesome, horrible bus driver his money and then went upstairs. It took about 30 minutes to get to school and now we had arrived in the place I disliked as much as home.
The morning I thought was going to be bad didn’t turn out so bad and I will tell you why….
Because it was Monday my house group had to have there assembly today but it wasn’t the assembly that made me happy it was the surprise in it. After the headmistress Mrs. Goddard read out the school notifications she said to us all. “Children of blue-leaf house I have good news for you all, we have a new student here at Riverview high school
his name is Joey Bennett he’s going to come out and say a few words.”
When he came out onto the hall stage my heart kept racing faster and faster. He looked amazing he had short brown hair with a bit of his fringe highlighted blonde I bet every girl would want to run her hands through his hair… well I know I did and his body was tanned and he had some muscles most of the boys here didn’t even have a six pack let alone muscles.
I know from that first glance that I’d fallen in love.I've been writing a new book tell me what you think?
I'm curious as to what is going to make this any different from the original Cinderella story. Your writing is very tell, don't show, which is a problem, since readers don't want to be reminded they're reading. I'd suggest working on it, try to avoid making statements, such as ';I had long brown hair,'; instead, explain your hair, it works wonders on the keeping the attention of the audience. Also, try to avoid the Mary-Sue route, where you're perfect but have a tragic life, ect. It's very easy to fall down that path when you're working first person, so watch out for it.
Good Luck,I've been writing a new book tell me what you think?
It's good...I think it could have some potential, but try and put some more punctuation in...oh and some more description. I know as someone you know I have been nagging you about this stuff but I also want to tell you to put yourself in the shoes of Avril. Like what does she think of the other characters? Why is her life like a Cinderella story? You didn't really mention why and yes it gets me interested but to be honest, it sounds like it could be a book of another 'Cinderella Story' film. With the name Joey, it makes it even more so. I know you couldn't think of a name, but there are loads of unique names at babynames.com, so try that.
Although I do hate being so negative so I will say something really posistive: your story so far sounds like a Clarice Bean story, and in my opinion they're pretty good. And like I said, you have potential, just remember to be a bit more descriptive and flesh out the character more. Kepp writing and good luck!
~Jade XP
Thats really good.
One thing that you should or might consider adding, is like The new kid could be Supernatural or something like that, like a wizard, or even a Evil guy, like make him be an outside to the rest of the school.
Can you answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…
~{STP}~
It sounds like a pretty good beginning. =D However I have a few suggestions:
- Add periods, commas, etc. Basically punctuation in general for some of the sentences.
- ';Well you’re most probably thinking that doesn’t sound so bad, well you’re wrong.'; It sounds kind of awkward when you've used ';well'; before and you used ';well'; again a few words later. Maybe replace it with ';but'; or another word?
- Maybe describe some mental thoughts or something during the conversation with Lloyd. The conversation is pretty brief. Even if you wanted it like that, it seems kind of rushed. Adding additional phrases, sentences, thoughts from Avril, expressions from Lloyd (or both), etc..should help. =D
So that's basically it! Keep it up, please xD I want to know what happens next. =P
I'd liked it :D Though I'm not a huge Cinderella kinda girl but the description at the beginning was kind of regular, try to find some cool ways to incorporate it more into the stories. And ';they're blue like two sapphires shining in the light'; seems a little...over the top to me. I would never describe my eyes so....I don't know the word. But that sounds like a sentence for someone else to describe, or to describe someone else. Most people dumb themselves down and would just say ';a sapphire blue'; and Avril seems like the kind of girl who keeps to herself and doesn't really find anything about herself very amazing. But I don't know so I can't rightly say haha.
Um....remember to keep all the tenses the same....let's see....nope that's just about it. Thanks for answering my question and happy writing :D
What do you think of my story?
We have to write a story, ';The school of nightmares'; and this is what I wrote:
My hands trembling, I tied my hair in a ponytail. It was my first day of Dleifyam Primary, and I had an idea that it wasn’t gonna be so great. My parents kept on reassuring me, insisting it will be great. I walked into the kitchen, my mom and dad and little sister and older brother all smiling at me. We were having pancakes as a special treat. I barely ate any. I walked to school. It was just down the road, so I didn’t have to walk very far. I looked at the metal gates, and the school itself. There was graffiti painted everywhere, a few of the windows were broken, and the gates had spikes over it. I pressed the button. A voice came through a speaker “Hello, who is it?”
“M-my names Katie, I’m starting here today”
The gates automatically opened, and I walked in. A very fat lady with long blonde hair and cold green eyes was standing near the door.
“Hello, you must be Katherine, welcome to Dleifyam, I hope you will have a good time” she said dully, like she said it a thousand times. I was too nervous to correct her. She led me into the building. It smelled like someone had used it as a toilet, and was very dark. She led me into a classroom with a wooden door. Inside was a tall, skinny woman with glossy black hair. Dozens of children stared at me. They obviously weren’t very welcoming.
“Hello, you must be Katherine, welcome to 6A; I hope you will have a good time,” she said in a ice cold voice. “You can go now Allen; I’ll sort this kid out.”
The fat woman waddled out of the classroom, and some kids began sniggering at me.
“Now, where are we gonna place you?” she said, looking around the classroom. There was one seat next to a slim girl with red hair and blue eyes, and she gestured towards it. I shuffled towards it.
“Who are you, big ears,” she sneered, poking me with a ruler, “Don’t expect a very welcoming school, me and Shanice and Holly are gonna get you!”
I nodded, dreading later on.
“Ok, kids, its math’s.” The teacher bellowed.
We had a terrible long lesson that lasted all the way to break. When a bell rang, all the kids ran out, so I got stuck in a stampede. When we got outside, a group of girls surrounded me.
“Look, it’s a new girl!”
“Look at the way she’s dressed, that ugly brown sweater and skirt!”
“Eeew, her hairs so dirty, I bet she’s got NITS!”
Suddenly the fiercest looking girl pulled my hair. Then another kicked me hard. Suddenly I was being attacked.
Thankfully, the bell for lessons went. I went into the bathroom. My nose was bleeding and I had a black eye. Panicking, I used toilet paper to wipe my nose. I washed my eye, but it didn’t help.
I went out, and opened the door leading to the classroom. Lessons had already started. Everyone looked up at me.
“KATIE! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, COMING INTO THE CLASSROOM AT WHATEVER TIME YOU WANT,” my teacher boomed, “DETENTION! FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!”
* * * * *
So that’s how my life went. No friends, being bullied, coming bottom in everything, the teachers hating me, and my parents not noticing me at all.
After about a year of this horror, I told my parents. I told them everything. They listened, and my mom started crying. My dad looked horrified and apologized for never listening before.
The very next day my mom signed my out from that school. I’m gonna go to a new school. Mayfield. It was the entire opposite of Dleifyam; it was big and beautiful without any graffiti or smell corridors. A new lady with short black hair led me to a classroom. New children were smiling at me, looking welcoming. A happy teacher with curls smiled at me brightly.
“Hello Katie! Welcome to 6TF, lets seat you somewhere.”
She looked around the room, and saw an empty seat next to a beautiful Asian girl with big brown eyes and black hair in a ponytail. She smiled at me.
“Why don’t you sit next to Annusheh? Ok, let’s begin Literacy; we’re studying the Ancient Greeks.”
I shyly sat next to Annusheh.
“Hello, what’s your name? It’s really tough starting a new school, isn’t it? Well, do you want to play with me at break and lunch?”
I nodded, hardly able to believe my luck. When we had to get into groups, Annusheh insisted that she should come with her and her friends. I had a fantastic day.
During break, I made new friends. By lunch, I had a entire crowd of children asking me questions.
I was best friends with Annusheh, and after a while, I realized I belonged at Mayfield.What do you think of my story?
Its pretty awesome ! :)
Love how its written from your point of view, its almost as if we're in your shoes
seriously i think its really good ! =]
xWhat do you think of my story?
wow pretty cool!
answer this?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
great story and I'm glad your parents listened to to you! Stay in school and go as far as you can .Knowledge is power.
My hands trembling, I tied my hair in a ponytail. It was my first day of Dleifyam Primary, and I had an idea that it wasn’t gonna be so great. My parents kept on reassuring me, insisting it will be great. I walked into the kitchen, my mom and dad and little sister and older brother all smiling at me. We were having pancakes as a special treat. I barely ate any. I walked to school. It was just down the road, so I didn’t have to walk very far. I looked at the metal gates, and the school itself. There was graffiti painted everywhere, a few of the windows were broken, and the gates had spikes over it. I pressed the button. A voice came through a speaker “Hello, who is it?”
“M-my names Katie, I’m starting here today”
The gates automatically opened, and I walked in. A very fat lady with long blonde hair and cold green eyes was standing near the door.
“Hello, you must be Katherine, welcome to Dleifyam, I hope you will have a good time” she said dully, like she said it a thousand times. I was too nervous to correct her. She led me into the building. It smelled like someone had used it as a toilet, and was very dark. She led me into a classroom with a wooden door. Inside was a tall, skinny woman with glossy black hair. Dozens of children stared at me. They obviously weren’t very welcoming.
“Hello, you must be Katherine, welcome to 6A; I hope you will have a good time,” she said in a ice cold voice. “You can go now Allen; I’ll sort this kid out.”
The fat woman waddled out of the classroom, and some kids began sniggering at me.
“Now, where are we gonna place you?” she said, looking around the classroom. There was one seat next to a slim girl with red hair and blue eyes, and she gestured towards it. I shuffled towards it.
“Who are you, big ears,” she sneered, poking me with a ruler, “Don’t expect a very welcoming school, me and Shanice and Holly are gonna get you!”
I nodded, dreading later on.
“Ok, kids, its math’s.” The teacher bellowed.
We had a terrible long lesson that lasted all the way to break. When a bell rang, all the kids ran out, so I got stuck in a stampede. When we got outside, a group of girls surrounded me.
“Look, it’s a new girl!”
“Look at the way she’s dressed, that ugly brown sweater and skirt!”
“Eeew, her hairs so dirty, I bet she’s got NITS!”
Suddenly the fiercest looking girl pulled my hair. Then another kicked me hard. Suddenly I was being attacked.
Thankfully, the bell for lessons went. I went into the bathroom. My nose was bleeding and I had a black eye. Panicking, I used toilet paper to wipe my nose. I washed my eye, but it didn’t help.
I went out, and opened the door leading to the classroom. Lessons had already started. Everyone looked up at me.
“KATIE! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, COMING INTO THE CLASSROOM AT WHATEVER TIME YOU WANT,” my teacher boomed, “DETENTION! FOR THE NEXT 3 WEEKS!”
* * * * *
So that’s how my life went. No friends, being bullied, coming bottom in everything, the teachers hating me, and my parents not noticing me at all.
After about a year of this horror, I told my parents. I told them everything. They listened, and my mom started crying. My dad looked horrified and apologized for never listening before.
The very next day my mom signed my out from that school. I’m gonna go to a new school. Mayfield. It was the entire opposite of Dleifyam; it was big and beautiful without any graffiti or smell corridors. A new lady with short black hair led me to a classroom. New children were smiling at me, looking welcoming. A happy teacher with curls smiled at me brightly.
“Hello Katie! Welcome to 6TF, lets seat you somewhere.”
She looked around the room, and saw an empty seat next to a beautiful Asian girl with big brown eyes and black hair in a ponytail. She smiled at me.
“Why don’t you sit next to Annusheh? Ok, let’s begin Literacy; we’re studying the Ancient Greeks.”
I shyly sat next to Annusheh.
“Hello, what’s your name? It’s really tough starting a new school, isn’t it? Well, do you want to play with me at break and lunch?”
I nodded, hardly able to believe my luck. When we had to get into groups, Annusheh insisted that she should come with her and her friends. I had a fantastic day.
During break, I made new friends. By lunch, I had a entire crowd of children asking me questions.
I was best friends with Annusheh, and after a while, I realized I belonged at Mayfield.What do you think of my story?
Its pretty awesome ! :)
Love how its written from your point of view, its almost as if we're in your shoes
seriously i think its really good ! =]
xWhat do you think of my story?
wow pretty cool!
answer this?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…
great story and I'm glad your parents listened to to you! Stay in school and go as far as you can .Knowledge is power.
What do u guys think about my editing in this short story?
is a true story im into editing and writing but i love editing iis my thing improving peoples work! i believe im good at it judging from what i first received from this person GIVE THIS A CHECK IT OUT PLEASE!%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;I of course may have over looked a few things so feel free to mention them.
“Laura's worst nightmare”
Laura has beautiful long black hair,a milky skin color, big bright eyes, cute button nose, a perfect body shape and the type of smile that can light up a room, she is a straight A student and her parents only daughter, they have always being proud and protective of her. At only fourteen years old Laura fell in love with a boy, his name was George, she was happier then she had ever been in her life. As soon as her parents found out about them they were against their daughters relationship because they had strong religious believes that George was not apart of, Laura was deep in love and it meant the world to her to be with George despite her parents disapproval. Soon Laura was fifteen and pregnant, her parents although they were upset, loved her, that love made them support her every step of the way. During her pregnancy Laura made all sorts of plans for her and her baby, she planned the babies baby shower and the baby's room, she was happy and exited to be having her baby.
on a regular school day, at around noon Laura started feeling a little sick and uncomfortable., she then decide to get out of school early and get some needed rest.
That night Laura had the worst nightmare anyone can ever imagine, she dreamed that she got hospitalized, she found out that her baby girl was ready to be born at only 7 and a half months to her pregnancy, Laura didn't know if her baby was going to be born perfect, the doctors told her the baby had heart complications among other problems. She couldn't believe it, she was only 15 and thought that because it was her first time being pregnant everything would be okay. Laura proclaimed “if my baby dies I will not survive”.
Laura never imagine how difficult it was to deliver a baby. A few hours later Laura felt the pain like a hurricane destroying everything inside of her and around her. It was 8'o'clock pm the doctor showed up to pay her another dreaded visit. They inform her she was ready to deliver her baby, Laura's anguish grew larger and she felt she needed to hold her baby girl in longer. When the doctors told her “your baby may be born with breathing problems , she has lung disease , but we will do everything we can to help her survive” Laura got depressed immediately after she heard this. All of her good thoughts about her daughter's well being all banished in the blink of an eyes, despite the doctors good hopes she knew that something would go wrong.
Soon Laura's hospital room, was filling up with more and more doctors and nurses, doing sonograms, and checking the babies reaction. Every time that Laura went to sleep she thought only a miracle can save my daughter. Laura's boyfriend, friends and family were all very supportive and were there for her every step of the way. Having all her loves ones there for her made her feel better.
The next morning Laura began to feel a little bit more hopeful and hoped the whole situation will get better, she knew she was trying to be strong enough but the pain was still there just as strong as ever. She began to feel more depressed,tired and confused. The doctors told her “if the baby is born with complications we will operate her, then she will stay a couple of months in the hospital until she get better”. This made her feel happy again and she believed god was listening to her prayers every single night, her loves ones were assuring her “everything will be okay Laura”.
Her nightmare took a turn for the worst by this time three days had passed and Laura wanted to know if it was cold outside. Can you imagine three days in bed without eating anything, just drinking water?, three days in bed without getting up? She asked herself “ when is this going to end?”. The time came right at this moment. Her baby was ready to come out. On a cold and sunny afternoon of January 18, she was sent to the delivery room. Twenty minutes later her baby was born. The baby did not scream, Laura knew that something was not right. Doctors showed her the baby very quickly before they rushed her out of Laura's delivery room. She didn't have time to hug and kiss her baby daughter.
Laura's baby was not breathing perfectly her lungs were very small, the baby was born almost three pound. Laura arrived at her babies room, “ANGELY” she named her baby girl, she was born with all her features, she had the milky skin the beautiful button nose and her fathers blond hair, when Laura went into the room her babies eyes were close but for the first time since she was born her baby opened her eyes and saw her mother but she close them almost immediately. The doctors began the operation a short while after andWhat do u guys think about my editing in this short story?
awesome!
only some grammatical mistakes.
also you should mention something more about teen pregnancy....like, someone in school teased her and all. but still she endured everytrhing.
“Laura's worst nightmare”
Laura has beautiful long black hair,a milky skin color, big bright eyes, cute button nose, a perfect body shape and the type of smile that can light up a room, she is a straight A student and her parents only daughter, they have always being proud and protective of her. At only fourteen years old Laura fell in love with a boy, his name was George, she was happier then she had ever been in her life. As soon as her parents found out about them they were against their daughters relationship because they had strong religious believes that George was not apart of, Laura was deep in love and it meant the world to her to be with George despite her parents disapproval. Soon Laura was fifteen and pregnant, her parents although they were upset, loved her, that love made them support her every step of the way. During her pregnancy Laura made all sorts of plans for her and her baby, she planned the babies baby shower and the baby's room, she was happy and exited to be having her baby.
on a regular school day, at around noon Laura started feeling a little sick and uncomfortable., she then decide to get out of school early and get some needed rest.
That night Laura had the worst nightmare anyone can ever imagine, she dreamed that she got hospitalized, she found out that her baby girl was ready to be born at only 7 and a half months to her pregnancy, Laura didn't know if her baby was going to be born perfect, the doctors told her the baby had heart complications among other problems. She couldn't believe it, she was only 15 and thought that because it was her first time being pregnant everything would be okay. Laura proclaimed “if my baby dies I will not survive”.
Laura never imagine how difficult it was to deliver a baby. A few hours later Laura felt the pain like a hurricane destroying everything inside of her and around her. It was 8'o'clock pm the doctor showed up to pay her another dreaded visit. They inform her she was ready to deliver her baby, Laura's anguish grew larger and she felt she needed to hold her baby girl in longer. When the doctors told her “your baby may be born with breathing problems , she has lung disease , but we will do everything we can to help her survive” Laura got depressed immediately after she heard this. All of her good thoughts about her daughter's well being all banished in the blink of an eyes, despite the doctors good hopes she knew that something would go wrong.
Soon Laura's hospital room, was filling up with more and more doctors and nurses, doing sonograms, and checking the babies reaction. Every time that Laura went to sleep she thought only a miracle can save my daughter. Laura's boyfriend, friends and family were all very supportive and were there for her every step of the way. Having all her loves ones there for her made her feel better.
The next morning Laura began to feel a little bit more hopeful and hoped the whole situation will get better, she knew she was trying to be strong enough but the pain was still there just as strong as ever. She began to feel more depressed,tired and confused. The doctors told her “if the baby is born with complications we will operate her, then she will stay a couple of months in the hospital until she get better”. This made her feel happy again and she believed god was listening to her prayers every single night, her loves ones were assuring her “everything will be okay Laura”.
Her nightmare took a turn for the worst by this time three days had passed and Laura wanted to know if it was cold outside. Can you imagine three days in bed without eating anything, just drinking water?, three days in bed without getting up? She asked herself “ when is this going to end?”. The time came right at this moment. Her baby was ready to come out. On a cold and sunny afternoon of January 18, she was sent to the delivery room. Twenty minutes later her baby was born. The baby did not scream, Laura knew that something was not right. Doctors showed her the baby very quickly before they rushed her out of Laura's delivery room. She didn't have time to hug and kiss her baby daughter.
Laura's baby was not breathing perfectly her lungs were very small, the baby was born almost three pound. Laura arrived at her babies room, “ANGELY” she named her baby girl, she was born with all her features, she had the milky skin the beautiful button nose and her fathers blond hair, when Laura went into the room her babies eyes were close but for the first time since she was born her baby opened her eyes and saw her mother but she close them almost immediately. The doctors began the operation a short while after andWhat do u guys think about my editing in this short story?
awesome!
only some grammatical mistakes.
also you should mention something more about teen pregnancy....like, someone in school teased her and all. but still she endured everytrhing.
What do you think of the beginning of my short story.?
shock. Unprepared for re-entering the territory of her youth and facing the memories that might evoke. A sickly churning started in Chloe's stomach, then suddenly the dark outline of what had been her home for so many years loomed into view, for the first time in 8 years. Holding her breathe she forced herself to look at it. The tears scorched the back of her eyes as she drank everything in. It looked just as it did in her sweat-soaked nightmares. The dull grey eyes of the concrete statue gazed sadly back at her, his voice whispering 'welcome home' in the softly stirring breeze. Stepping shakily and Peering round the corner her heart gave a painful lurch as her eyes rested on her old room-The place where she had experience the few happy; and many sad parts of her childhood. Chloe blinked rapidly holding her stringing tears at bay and determinedly trying to remove the clammy hand of dread that was gripping her by the throat. Night after night, Chloe was haunted by distorted visions of everything that she had experiences throughout her life, all twisted together in a macabre plot line of her own minds making, and always ending the same way- Chloe's disappointing breathe a raging sea of blood as the culprit stood by watching and laughing with one evil desire:to destroy her. Chloe could hear her breathe rasping shallowly in her chest, as the dark shadow of her past blanketed over her like a cold dead hand. Then suddenly her mind was filled with reflection
panic. Running round like a lost puppy Chloe struggled to find a better hiding place than behind the torn, old, damp settee. As nothing more than a terrified 8 year old girl this was the best she could come up with. A throb of fear burst to life in her throat as her tired and welled up eyes followed the evil shadow getting closer, closer and closer. she smelled the anger emerging from the monster and jumped at every thudding step she heard. The shadow took solid form. She unsuprisingly saw her drunken mother stumbbling in the door way. ';CHLOE'; her mother screched. ';ha ha'; her mum cackled. This sent shivers down chloe's spine. ';You actually think i am that stupid you silly cow'; she continued. Chloe peered from behind the settee, she felt sick. Trapped. Turning to run, she screamed when her mothers hand shot out and grabbed her skinny leg ';No mammy no'; Chloe squeeled- this made no difference. Maggie gripped Chloe's hair and dragged her as if she was a rag doll.This causing Chloe to releasing a shocking yelp of terror, she stared up in fear at her mums livid face and her crazy eyes shaking in the dim lite through her rats tales. Maggies mouth was drawn so tight it looked like the knot at the end of a baloon. Chloe felt the room closing in on her as her mothers hand flew towards her and sent her plunging to the floor. After several hits Chole lifted her batted face off the floor with a struggle thinking it was all over. She was wrong. Feeling a deathly blow to the back of her head, she through her hand up and wasn't surprised to feel a warm wetness. Bringing her hand around her face , she stared at her crisom-stained fingers.Chloe sat in silence watching the scowling withch leave the room and hearing her sarcastic voice call ';And this is how you treat a mum you love Chloe is it? IS IT?';. Chloe bit back the cutting report that sprang to the tip of her tounge. Tears of sorrow at this rejection and unfair justice streamed down her face. Folding her arms and crossing her legs - a tight simultaneous action that displayed how taughtly her nerves were streched, Chloe sat and continued to sob.What do you think of the beginning of my short story.?
Please, love, cut out the text type of writing. 'Wot u,' and 'Wot cud' isn't English. it's just a nuisance. And it's even more uncalled for, because you write very well. There are a number of typos and small mistakes in the narrative, but generally speaking it's very good. Read it into a tape recorder and play it back. You'll pick most, if not all of them up this way, although as you say, you haven't checked them yet.
Get hold of a book on how to set out dialogue, or look for a site on the Net that shows you. You're only 14, though, and I think you've done a really good job. But please cut out the text business!!!
Good luck
Mike BWhat do you think of the beginning of my short story.?
It didn't pop to me.
Very nice. However cut down the paragraphs if you want people to actually read it. You dont want to bore your readers!
panic. Running round like a lost puppy Chloe struggled to find a better hiding place than behind the torn, old, damp settee. As nothing more than a terrified 8 year old girl this was the best she could come up with. A throb of fear burst to life in her throat as her tired and welled up eyes followed the evil shadow getting closer, closer and closer. she smelled the anger emerging from the monster and jumped at every thudding step she heard. The shadow took solid form. She unsuprisingly saw her drunken mother stumbbling in the door way. ';CHLOE'; her mother screched. ';ha ha'; her mum cackled. This sent shivers down chloe's spine. ';You actually think i am that stupid you silly cow'; she continued. Chloe peered from behind the settee, she felt sick. Trapped. Turning to run, she screamed when her mothers hand shot out and grabbed her skinny leg ';No mammy no'; Chloe squeeled- this made no difference. Maggie gripped Chloe's hair and dragged her as if she was a rag doll.This causing Chloe to releasing a shocking yelp of terror, she stared up in fear at her mums livid face and her crazy eyes shaking in the dim lite through her rats tales. Maggies mouth was drawn so tight it looked like the knot at the end of a baloon. Chloe felt the room closing in on her as her mothers hand flew towards her and sent her plunging to the floor. After several hits Chole lifted her batted face off the floor with a struggle thinking it was all over. She was wrong. Feeling a deathly blow to the back of her head, she through her hand up and wasn't surprised to feel a warm wetness. Bringing her hand around her face , she stared at her crisom-stained fingers.Chloe sat in silence watching the scowling withch leave the room and hearing her sarcastic voice call ';And this is how you treat a mum you love Chloe is it? IS IT?';. Chloe bit back the cutting report that sprang to the tip of her tounge. Tears of sorrow at this rejection and unfair justice streamed down her face. Folding her arms and crossing her legs - a tight simultaneous action that displayed how taughtly her nerves were streched, Chloe sat and continued to sob.What do you think of the beginning of my short story.?
Please, love, cut out the text type of writing. 'Wot u,' and 'Wot cud' isn't English. it's just a nuisance. And it's even more uncalled for, because you write very well. There are a number of typos and small mistakes in the narrative, but generally speaking it's very good. Read it into a tape recorder and play it back. You'll pick most, if not all of them up this way, although as you say, you haven't checked them yet.
Get hold of a book on how to set out dialogue, or look for a site on the Net that shows you. You're only 14, though, and I think you've done a really good job. But please cut out the text business!!!
Good luck
Mike BWhat do you think of the beginning of my short story.?
It didn't pop to me.
Very nice. However cut down the paragraphs if you want people to actually read it. You dont want to bore your readers!
Cancer surviviors who've got their hair back - how did you cope with getting it cut?
I came off treatment about 2 years ago. I've recently started uni and don't have a lot of time on my hands. The problem is that my hair is much too long to fit around my schedual - it always takes at leats 30 mins to dry and i just dont have that sort of time in the mornings, so i need to get it cut.
At the moment it's over halfway down my back, and so thick i cant do anything with it so i really do need a shorted style.
But a part of me REALLY doesnt want to cut it, because i still feel like ';it's my hair and i'm not bald anymore and i love it';. i'm really dreading getting it cut in a few days, and several times i've almost called and cancelled.
Has anyone else felt like this? And if so, how did you get past it??Cancer surviviors who've got their hair back - how did you cope with getting it cut?
No. I still like short hair. The wig was hot, although it WAS sort of convenient to be able to take off your hair to cool off in hot weather. Grow it as long as you like. It is YOUR hair. If I lost hair again, I would still survive as best as possible.Cancer surviviors who've got their hair back - how did you cope with getting it cut?
Oh my I have been there but my husband made a great suggestion that if I wanted to cut my HAIR short again to put it to good use.. So that is exactly what I did I cut it off and gave it to Locks of Love.. They make wigs for all ages with human hair. I guess it made me feel better knowing that I was going to be happy with my hair short and it made it easier on the hot flashes (lol) also saved time on drying hair. But most of all made feel good that I could give back to someone that was going through what I went through. But your emotions are totally normal...
At the moment it's over halfway down my back, and so thick i cant do anything with it so i really do need a shorted style.
But a part of me REALLY doesnt want to cut it, because i still feel like ';it's my hair and i'm not bald anymore and i love it';. i'm really dreading getting it cut in a few days, and several times i've almost called and cancelled.
Has anyone else felt like this? And if so, how did you get past it??Cancer surviviors who've got their hair back - how did you cope with getting it cut?
No. I still like short hair. The wig was hot, although it WAS sort of convenient to be able to take off your hair to cool off in hot weather. Grow it as long as you like. It is YOUR hair. If I lost hair again, I would still survive as best as possible.Cancer surviviors who've got their hair back - how did you cope with getting it cut?
Oh my I have been there but my husband made a great suggestion that if I wanted to cut my HAIR short again to put it to good use.. So that is exactly what I did I cut it off and gave it to Locks of Love.. They make wigs for all ages with human hair. I guess it made me feel better knowing that I was going to be happy with my hair short and it made it easier on the hot flashes (lol) also saved time on drying hair. But most of all made feel good that I could give back to someone that was going through what I went through. But your emotions are totally normal...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)