Does my story have the correct grammar and everything ?

Gone





Antanasia’s life was perfect. She was as happy as can be. She had great friends, a wonderful family, and she was getting great marks in school. “Nothing can possibly go wrong,” she thought. So why did she have this terrible feeling of dread in her stomach?


Today would be her one year anniversary with Ethan. He was meeting her at the park, and had kept the details to a minimum. She insisted on dressing up and throwing a big party, however he continued to tell her “It’s not big deal.” Thinking it over, she noticed these past days Ethan had been very quite and distant. She had asked him what was wrong a multiple amount of times, but he just shook his head and changed the subject. If acted like that today she would confront him, once and for all. She slowly walked up to the bench, while having a weird knot in her stomach.


“Hey,” he said.


Antanasia looked at him. He was wearing his brown khaki shorts, sneakers and a cream coloured shirt. His light brown hair was touseled yet at the same time it looked so smooth, and it was Just below his ears. He had side swept bangs that covered both his eyes, but not enough for her to not to stare into them. She had saved the best for last, knowing that as soon as she looked into them she would forget her train of thought. Her eyes met with a pair of deep chocolate brown eyes staring back at her with something that looked close to pain. That’s it she had had enough and was going to confront him.


“What’s wrong?” she asked moving closer to him. Though he immediately flinched back. The expression on Antanasia’s face must have been pretty clear since he immediately took her hand and gave it a tight comforting squeeze.


“There’s no easy way to say this but …. I’m moving”


“What?”


“Moving, we started packing today. We’re going to” … He took a long pause seeming to think it through and finally said, “Florida.”


“Florida?” Shock, anger, betrayal, and confusion coursed through her.


“ I’ll miss you Antanasia Woods, please take care of yourself.


“ But – ” She was cut short and taken by surprise as Ethan grabbed her and kissed her. The kiss was wrong, It was rough and full of anger, yet passionate enough that she soon realised this would be there last kiss. He slowly pulled away his soft pink lips away from


hers, and the connection broke. Hurt was quickly replaced with denial.


“Goodbye love.” he whispered softly in her ear. His voice was slowly fading and he was leaving, but she had to stop him.


“No!” she yelled.


But it was too late no one heard her and he was gone. “Okay, it’s okay. I’ll just go to their house and stop him.” she thought. She rode her bike for what seemed like an eternity, pushing herself harder and harder, feeling the need to go faster and faster. When she finally got there she was tired and sweaty. But that wouldn’t stop her. She knocked the door hard, trying and trying again and again. But no one answered. She banged, kicked, yelled, and pleaded. Tears streamed down her cheeks in frustration. Then she slowly twisted the door knob, it was open. “ That’s strange.” she thought to herself. Hands shaking violently it took a while to get them to be still. Hey heart was beating so wildly, that she wouldn’t have been surprised if it had ripped out of her chest and ran off. She slowly opened the door, while taking a deep breath. A wave of shock washed over her. “No, it couldn’t be! Ethan had said they just started packing.” But no matter how hard she wanted to deny it, she knew that it was too late. He really was gone, forever. Out of her life without any explanations. Antananasia spent what was left of the day there. Screaming, crying, and yelling. But no one heard her, the house was empty. He was gone.Does my story have the correct grammar and everything ?
I don't think you're supposed to put a comma in this sentence: He was meeting her at the park, and had kept the details to a minimum.








I think in this one, you should put a comma before the quote: She insisted on dressing up and throwing a big party, however he continued to tell her “It’s not big deal.”








In this sentence quite should be quiet: Thinking it over, she noticed these past days Ethan had been very quite and distant.





In this sentence, there should be a comma after sneakers:


He was wearing his brown khaki shorts, sneakers and a cream coloured shirt.





Just should not be capitalized:


His light brown hair was touseled yet at the same time it looked so smooth, and it was Just below his ears.





In this sentence you should re-word it: He had side swept bangs that covered both his eyes, but not enough for her to not to stare into them.








needs puncuation: That’s it she had had enough and was going to confront him.





needs quote at the end: “ I’ll miss you Antanasia Woods, please take care of yourself.





It shouldn't be capitalized and realised should be realized: The kiss was wrong, It was rough and full of anger, yet passionate enough that she soon realised this would be there last kiss.





should be her: Hey heart was beating so wildly, that she wouldn’t have been surprised if it had ripped out of her chest and ran off.