REDO: What do you think of this story/writing?

All reviews are welcome, and people -please have an open mind about this story. It's not meant to harm and/or seclude anyone.





Timothy stood next to the large oak table quietly; waiting patiently for his master to arrive for the dinner he had been working all day on –Thanksgiving Dinner. The table was set for two, both of the chairs next to each other since Arnold was a predator and Timothy was the prey. On the table was an assortment of foods, ranging from waffle casserole to turkey with stuffing.





Timothy was a boy of 16, with shaggy auburn red hair and black freckles that looked more like pieces of burning ash scattered across his red cheeks. He had a diamond shaped face and slim eyebrows, his lips kept in a straight line but burning the color of blood due to abuse. His eyes were almost crystal clear, a glassy blue which showed fear and alertness –no sense of happiness or comfort residing in the almond shaped eyes. His person was slim and short, only towering at 5’6” with posture a king could own but an air of abuse that proved him lowly. He wore a white button-up shirt with baggy black jeans, his sleeves rolled up and his feet only wearing black socks. To the person unaware of his background and lifestyle –they would think him to be only a regular teenage boy who probably did drugs on the weekends (which wasn’t saying much, seeing as how every teen was nowadays). But his wrists shown different, scarred and thin from countless abuse from ropes or wires tied on too tight.





Abruptly the sound of somebody walking down the steps woke Timothy from his gaze on the floor. He lifted his head up slightly as Arnold walked in. Arnold grinned, slightly amused at the teens obedience to him. “G –good evening,” Timothy stuttered out in his low and cumbersome voice.





“As to you, Timothy –you’ve made an excellent round of food…but where’s the beer?” Timothy’s eyes widened slightly at the question, his lips trembling. He had “forgotten” the beer. Yes –Timothy had “forgotten” the beer due to how sexually active the older man got when he was drunk.





“I –um –“





“Timothy, Timothy, Timothy….do you want me to school you in giving and receiving again?” Scared by the threat, Timothy rubbed his wrists and felt his whole body feel tight and stiff like an iced over pole in the middle of a snowstorm.





“No –no sir, I’ll go and get the beer right away –“





“It’s Master,”





“O –of course, Master…” Timothy waited for his master’s wave of the hand or word for him to go and get the beer. But getting no response Timothy spoke, “May I go –“





“You may go, and put up the food in the fridge for later and then go and wait in my room. I’ll get the ropes.” Arnold interrupted, his voice assertive and sending Timothy into shivers of dread. Arnold left the room without another word as Timothy slowly gained control of his feet, hands, and body as he started to take the food from the dining room and into the kitchen –storing them it all into the fridge that was already over-flowing with uneaten food. Stomach growling, he finished putting all the food in the fridge and silently climbed up the stairs to the second floor. On his way there his usual pink skin looked pale –knowing exactly what he was walking towards. He knew that if he was disobedient he would only end up crying and screaming more than he suffered from normally. But on some nights Arnold could be aggressive, almost beastly –





“Glad to see you could make it, Timothy.” Arnold smiled smugly while standing up from his bed.


“Mind closing the door for me? I know how you like to drown out your screams…” Chuckling at his own words Arnold headed towards Timothy who was closing the door and locking it, his back to his master.





Timothy jumped suddenly at the older man’s hands which were now crawling around his waist and to his front side, unbuttoning his shirt while pressing him against the wooden door. Timothy bit his lip to fight a whimper as his button-down shirt and undershirt were thrown on the ground. “Come on,


Timothy, come on and play with daddy…” Aggressively Arnold snatched Timothy’s wrist and dragged him towards the king size bed, throwing him onto it and grabbing the ropes hastily. The red haired boy buried his face in the red comforter while his wrists got tied to the beds upper panels –a tradition that made him want suicide like a kid wanting the latest toy. In no more than ten seconds, though, Timothy felt deadly pleasure as the man bit and licked down his neck –not giving the younger boy a warning, for he was too used to the unhealthy situation to even be a little surprised.





Shaking, Timothy laid frightened in the bed. His wrists were stained with dry blood that had escaped his wrists from the night before –hanging over the side of the bed and into the trash that had been placed there for moments like this. Arnold had left for work earlier that morning, but Timothy still couldn’t move. He felt frozen and hungry –not a trace of fat left on his now regainingREDO: What do you think of this story/writing?
That was amazing. Keep writingREDO: What do you think of this story/writing?
That was amazing. I am hooked. I even paused the music I was listening to so I could better focus on this. Please continue to write this story. I wish you the best of luck with it.
w.o.w. this is really good! AMAZING! keep writing! i really want to read more! oh and one question. is this supposed to be modern day? because his name timothy sounds like ';back then';. so could you clarify it to me?


thanks.


and once again, AMAZING!
Very good!!!!! Please keep writing, you've got a lot of talent!! :)














P.S. Thanks for answering my question! :p
omg that was AMAZING!!!!!!! please please please please please please please please please please please keep writing ...you have like, a gift or something
GREAT GREAT GREAT KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK new Agata Cristy OR J.K Rowling ...


Just keep going forward


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It seems you'll over taking the world !!
that was freakin amazing!!!


my only suggestion would be to add in a few commas to break up the longer sentences
omygodomygodomygod





you are wayyyyyyyy to good.
I really like this, nice work.
Amazing. Beautiful. I felt like I was there.





I'm hooked now, so please post it online somewhere and give me a link!!! =)
omg! that chapter was so good, towards the middle i started crying! it was sad! in a good way! u have a gift
Your too good to be showing this to people on the internet! Someone might try to steal it! Keep writing please! It has a really dark/interesting vybe to it, I like it.


:)
Wow.... I absolutley Hate to read BUT THIS WAS SOO GOOD!!!!Like i want to go to the library right now and try to find writing like this. Excellent wow wow wow is all i can say!! Good writing skills very good writing skills really pulls you in I would pay for writing like this. The story itself i found slightly disturbing ,but the writing and fluency if thats even a word is really very very good. PLS continue to write and pls post the rest. Im going to post a question on good books to read and I would like if you could maybe try and answer it if you have the chance. Given your awsome writing ability i would like to know what types of books you read or what kind of writing inspires you so when you get the chance could you just type in ';What are good quality books that pull you in?'; into answers and let me know if you can. similar to your kind of writing. OMG Thankyou for sharing that i actually really enjoyed that and I just need to tell you again that i absolutlely hate to read and I want to read now cause of that, omg thankyou soo much' :-)
i love how you put in details, thats the key to a good story%26lt;3





keep writing this is good!!! :)