Is my short story corny?

Here they are and btw the events really happened to me: As I walk down the Earth-smelling grass and my new Nike's get wet because of the early morning dew, I felt like I was a dead man walking I dread school. Not that I'm falling or that a have no friends its that I always worry about how I look like. I know that a girl is supposed to worry about how they look but I over do it I look to see how I look every few seconds I hate it. I hate my pimples my oliy face, my short hair. I wish that I had long flowing hair, with a nice clean face that never had one tiny pimple or one oily spot, but I guess I we don't always get what we want. But my feeling slowly evaporates when I see my two best friends,Vicky and Cassie. As I walk to them, something makes me trip me on the black, bulky barrier that separates the wet grass and red soft rocks and my Pre-algebra book goes flying out my hand and my Pre-algebra note book flying even higher. As I crash to the ground I see the boys laughing at me from last year that would think that I would start crying but I got up, I dusted off and I told them off. I cursed at them and every word I said it felt that I can breathe once again. It felt so good and as I turned around I heard one of them call me a Fat @ss. I turned around and said very sternly ';who said that!'; All of them pointed at one boy I know from last year. He was trembling saying '; no not me are you trying to get me slapped??!!'; '; come on kick his butt!'; Said a boy I just met this year.( You all know that he sid something more childish but I will not write what he really said.) Then I say ';oh then who opened their big mouth!!'; Then one boy said ,';it was him!!'; and he pointed at a small sixth grader . I stood there for a second, and I turned around and I breathed in and I smiled . As I picked up my stuff that I left a few seconds in anger but know getting them happily, I walked to the people that care for me, I heard the boy breathed in and breathed out. For once we all had a breath of life. What do you think? please tell me if i have to change anything thanks :)Is my short story corny?
It is a good story.Not corny at all.Is my short story corny?
it's not short enough
That was pretty good.


You could have shortened the dialogue at the end and added just a little more. But other than that that was really good! :]
that aint short!
Firstly, I find it a little difficult to read your story as the grammar is quite bad and often has incorrectly spelled words or sentences that run on into one another. Break up sections and write in proper english, not short form or abbreviations.
it is ok but u could improve it
Kind of Stupid....
I thought it was really good just it's longer than a paragraph, and although it's still a short story, it might be easier to read it you split it up into a couple. Hope that helped!





also some grammer errors but definitely not corny!!!
yes