“Hello?”
“Honey, please come home. I never meant to hurt you,” said her father.
Enraged, she slammed the lid of her phone shut and tossed it back into her duffel bag. “Never meant to hurt me?” she thought, “Yeah, threatening to kill me and smacking me around, means you never meant to hurt me.”
After hearing her father’s voice, her mind brought her back to the day she ran away from home. She remembered every detail; it was just like any other night. Following the 10 or so bottles of beer, her father would start the verbal abuse, blaming her for everything and for what had happened 4 years ago. He staggered around the house in a daze, shouting ugly things and crashing into the walls. It was all like a routine that happened over and over again, every day of her life. One day, she would be the perfect daughter that he was so proud of, the next day she would be the useless and ungrateful person he hated. The worst part of it all? She was getting used to it. But, something new happened that night. Her father curled up into a ball and gave her a look she had never seen before. It was not the usual look of disappointment and hurt, but a look of complete rage.
“I wish you were never born! She would still be here if it weren’t for you! I wish you were dead instead of her,” he uttered.
Mortified and absolutely stunned of what he had just said, she stood there still like a statue for a mere second, processing what he had just said. Without a word, she grabbed her duffel bag and dashed out of the house, trying to get as far away from him as possible.
But there was one day in her life that she wished she would forget, yet no matter how hard she tried, it seemed to be like a remote control on the permanent replay button. This day was the day her mother had died, the day that her Dad changed from the loving man to the drunk monster she knew as him now, and the day that a part of her own heart died with her mother.
She and her mum were driving to pick up her Dad from the airport. Around only 200 meters away from the airport, the accident that changed her life forever happened. She could still remember the car, a green jeep that was driving at what looked like 1000km per hour towards them. The thing she remembered most was the look on her mum’s face, a look of complete terror the moment before the car hit. It all happened in slow motion, a loud bang and the tremendous force that threw her straight out of her seat. Strangely, she managed to walk away from the wreck with only a couple bruises and cuts on her shaking body. Still in complete shock, she collapsed onto the ground and everything was black.
After living on the streets for about a week, she knew that it was much harder then it looked. Everyday was a battle to find food or shelter, most of the time she had to get on her knees and beg for money, to buy a loaf of bread just to get her through the day. The streets were a forbidding and tough place to live on. The ground was hard and ice-cold to sleep on, so different from her cosy, warm bed at home. Once, nobody gave her any money so, she just had to go without food for 2 whole days. While walking on the streets, she saw her reflection on a glass window in an alleyway. She did not even recognize herself. Her appearance was shocking: stick-like arms like a living skeleton, filthy hands and grimy hair.
I should go home. I am not strong enough to live like this. I won’t be able to do this. I will crumble to pieces. I am too fragile. Too weak. Too delicate. Look at me now. It’s only been a few days and LOOK AT ME. I must go home now. I can’t take any more of this. The only thing that got me through the abuse at home, was the thought that something better must be out there for me. After seeing this world, I just want to go back home. At least at home, not all days were bad. I have no hope out here by myself.
That night, she ended up back home at her front door. She paused for a second before ringing the doorbell, re-thinking things over. Suddenly, a terrifying smash came from inside the house. She peered through the window and saw the reflection of her father’s face. It was the same look he had given her the day she ran away, fury and rage. She remembered why she ran away in the first place, to escape all of this, to escape HIM. Without a sound, she turned her back to the door, and walked back into the scary and lonely world. But, at the same time she realized that she was walking away from him forever.
Read my short story...?
yes
there is no title?
yeh kind of
yes
yes
yes mostly
i think you have done well, you can manage to captivate the reader in certain spots, there are othe ideas out there that can be more interesting, i like fantasy and mystery it makes a good discovery, though your ending was good.Read my short story...?
WOW THAT IS FANTASTIC! WELL DONE!
no not really
what title?
yes
yes
yes
yes
'yes
I can only help w/ titles at the moment:
Lost Life
Escaping Father
Gone
Home No More
Harsh World
Drunk Perspective
Runaway Daughter
Escape From Home
Alone in the World
Almost Home
Gone for Good
Never Again
Walk Away
Leave Forever
All on my Lonesome
can you see where the climax in my story is? sorta
what is a good title? idk
is the ending surprising and interesting? very
is my plot focused and interesting? very
are there varied sentence structures? yes
is the mood/atmosphere maintained throughout the story? defiantly
is their good poetic and descriptive language? good description, i didn't notice much poetic devises though
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